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  • Tracy Fink

The DOs and DON’Ts of Wedding Toasts

Updated: May 26, 2021

As planners, we listen to wedding toasts nearly every weekend! Some have brought us to tears and some have made us cringe. As with anything else with planning your wedding, being prepared will make a big difference in how your reception will go.

Here are our top dos and don’ts that will help you give the perfect wedding toast!


1. Keep it between 2-4 minutes. Wedding days are LONG! Toasts are often one of the final things before dancing so people are ready to boogie! The best toasts are simple and short.

2. Briefly touch on how you both know each other. Most guests will not know who you are or how you know the couple. Start by sharing a brief description of your relationship. This can include a sweet story of how you first met. Just remember, the toast shouldn’t be all about you.

3. Speak to both members of the couple. Even though you know one person way better than the other, make sure you are speaking to both members of the couple.

Some ideas of things to share are:

• The first time you were with them as a couple

• When you first knew they were perfect for each other

• What you love most about them as a couple

• Be complimentary, share specific qualities you love about them

4. Make them laugh AND cry. Our favorite toasts include stories that make us laugh and moves us to tears. All the guests love hearing funny and sweet stories about the couple. Make sure to avoid inside jokes that everyone can’t enjoy together.

5. If you are stumped, include a beautiful quote or scripture that speaks to them. If you are having a hard time writing your toast or remembering stories, include a quote that reminds you of the couple or that is great advice for the future. Avoid generic advice that is not meaningful to you such as “never go to bed angry.”

6. End the toast on a high, joyful, hopeful note and don't forget to invite the guests to raise their glass and toast the couple! At some weddings all of the guests will have champagne and at others they will just toast with whatever they are drinking. Either way, don’t forget to invite everyone to raise their glass!


1. Have too much to drink before giving your toast. Please do not cause the couple and their guests (and planner!) stress by trying to give a toast while intoxicated! It truly takes away from how special the moment is.

2. Start by saying how nervous you are or how much you hate public speaking. Very few people love speaking in public! No need to take time out of your very short speech to let everyone know how nervous you are. Just find your inner confidence and no one will ever know!

3. Wing it! Of course, you do not have to write and read the toast word for word but it is best to at least have a plan.

4. Reference any previous significant others, fiancés, or spouses. Just DON'T. It is never a good idea.

5. Share stories/make comments that leave them feeling embarrassed This is their wedding, NOT the appropriate time to make them feel embarrassed! You should especially avoid jokes related to the wedding night or honeymoon, keep in mind grandma is there.

6. Reference them having children if they are have not explicitly said they want them. Many couples do not plan to have children or may not be able to. Avoid speaking about them as parents unless you are certain they do plan to have/adopt children!

We hope these tips help you to give a simple, heartwarming and personal toast!

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